Many think that children can be a serious obstacle to a new relationship. At the same time, in most cases, the main obstacle to cherished family happiness is the wrong attitude towards own children and potential partners. Of course, some instantly decide not to start a relationship in this case and just disappear. However, many people with children from previous relationships managed to overcome all difficulties and build a happy family.
1. Don’t hide your child
You can’t hide the presence of children! Moreover, this is not a disadvantage but a virtue. Of course, many are afraid that they will not find contact with the adult children of people they love, and they will hear from a teenager in response to a completely natural remark something like: “Don’t teach me! You are not my parent!” On the other hand, in the modern world, whether due to problematic ecology, for some other reasons, the problem of infertility is becoming more and more urgent. For such people, the only chance to experience all the delights of paternity is to marry someone who already has children.
2. Tell your child everything
If you don’t want to harm and cause psychological trauma in children and prove your love to them, you must trust and inform them about the events of your life. And this applies to all aspects. Coming home from work, tell them how your day went (even if your child is only five years old). Find the right words. And then take an interest in the day of your child. Then explain to the child that the appearance of a partner in your life doesn’t mean depriving a child of love, attention, and care. On the contrary, there will be a person who will help with the housework, take care of the child, play, love, give toys, and so on.
3. Don’t kiss when your child sees it
In the beginning, it is better to hide adult feelings from the child – don’t show intimate affection or tenderness. After all, those kisses and hugs that were present in the first marriage with a parent can provoke a child’s rejection of a new partner, jealousy, and slow down the addiction to a new person. Also, the manifestation of such attention can scare the child. And by the way, never scold children for jealousy!
4. Make a code of parenting
To avoid conflicting attitudes, it is important to immediately stipulate the rules of living together. Children should see unity in the demands that parents make on them. Contradictory instructions can cause discord in any family, and this leads to problems even faster. If controversial situations arise, try to find a single solution without the participation of the child. If your partner also has children, it is worth discussing how they will interact with yours. Decide everything together! If you want to be a family, you need to become a team taking into account the interests of everyone. At the same time, don’t forget about the personal boundaries of each other.
5. Be careful
Be careful with potential partners who swear love but can’t accept your child. Don’t rush to enter into a serious relationship with them because they will bring neither happiness nor satisfaction but only problems and disappointments for everyone. Remember that you are the most important person for your children and their well-being is in your hands. You should be responsible for the feelings of children. Before seriously getting carried away with your new friends, think not only about what kind of partners they will be for you but also about whether they can become a good friend for your child.